eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
