I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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