He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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