saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
