I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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