i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
