How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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