We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
