Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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