so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
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YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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