Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we're making bets on your personal life
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
