I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
did you just send me my own nude
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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