so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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