I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
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drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
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Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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