Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
