I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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