Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
