I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
