We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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