they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
