omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
