Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
