Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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