WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
