Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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