you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
