OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
