Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
