he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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