Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize