You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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