how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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