he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
how does that bad decision feel?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
