You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize