Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
