the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
