That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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