She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
