Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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