ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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