Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
fuck your aforementioned shoe
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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