I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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