She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
