Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
