It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Oh god it's open bar.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize