Even water is tasting like jack daniels
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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