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Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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