what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
