i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
