im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
