i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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