Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
