Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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