Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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