make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
