She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
