At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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