That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
