you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
