OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
