She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
